What does enough look or feel like? How does it feel to have enough? To be enough?
Do you find yourself needing to sit and relax, but keep thinking of one more thing to do? Do you accomplish a goal only to race off to the next goal? Or do you take time to sit and appreciate each step in your process before taking another step?
If some of this sounds familiar, I hear you.
For many years I have had the habit of pushing, always doing just one more thing before I rest. Where does this habit come from? Does it stem from a feeling of I’m not quite good enough? From a fear that if I don’t do more that I will be seen as lazy or not quite up to par?
How much is enough?
Lately I’ve been thinking about how much is enough. As I emerge from a period of illness and then treatment and recovery where was focused on rest and restoration, I’ve been thinking about how to incorporate this recovery mindset (where it is absolutely okay to rest and for small steps to be enough) into my life going forward.
I feel the need to change my habit of pushing, always doing just one more thing before I rest. I’m examining my habit of not taking time to acknowledge each step of the way before jumping into the next goal. I would love to uncover why this is, or discover the part of me that needs to heal, that makes me feel this is necessary. So that enough will be enough and I am enough can really land.
Apparently others are thinking about the same topic. Anne Day & Amy Vodarek have recently published a book Good enough. Embrace who you are. Unleash your brilliance. This book explores women’s feelings of self-doubt and strategies for how to work through these issues. Chapter headings include: Overwhelm – drowning in a sea of busyness; Trying to please everyone; Fear of failure; Driven to succeed; Life happens – dealing with losses; Transitions; Finding the joy and many more. My book One Loop at a Time and I are mentioned in the chapter of Life happens – dealing with losses (page 150) in terms of finding a creative outlet to deal with loss such as an illness.
I love that this book ends with The Good Enough Manifesto, tips to creating the life you are meant to live. My favourite quote from the book is this one;
“There’s always more that we can learn, more that we can do. We need to learn how to believe in ourselves and our unique gifts. Nobody else can tell you that you’re good enough. You have to choose this for yourself every day – choose to face your fears and step outside your comfort zone. It’s through self-awareness, conversation, and connection with one another that our insufficiencies melt away. We are enough when we lose our mask and open our hearts. Not feeling good enough is not going to hold me back; instead, I’m taking the lead and learning how to dance with it.” Amy Vodarek P 221-222
Emotional homework in progress
Here is what I am working on. I’m working on cultivating the mindset that it is okay to pause and rest and rejuvenate because you have done enough for today. I’m working on letting each accomplishment settle and celebrating each step before leaping off to the next goal.
My process for doing my emotional homework includes imagining what enough would feel like or look like? I usually begin with writing a few notes and beginning to visualize. Here are some notes from my journal:
“Enough is not swirling or jagged, more steady, full and rounded. With enough would come an ease, a feeling settled, maybe rested. I imagined that letting what you’ve accomplished settle and travel out, see where it lands might look like a beautiful pebble dropping in clear water and radiating out – softly, slowly, with love.”
The next step in my process as an artist is to think of a design that would express how I would like to feel, or what this issue would look like if it were resolved. My journal is full of possible rug designs. Here is the design that spoke to me about I am enough.
Learning to cultivate the feeling of enough is a process for me. As I hook this “I am enough” mat I am writing myself notes about taking time to be still, to breathe – it will all get done. Let this be enough. Let what you have accomplished settle and travel out, see where it lands. I have written on the linen around the edges of the mat “Let this be enough … Let what you’ve accomplished settle and travel out, see where it lands … like a beautiful pebble dropping and radiating out”.
Chakra colour notes
When a design has been sketched I next think about what colours are calling me for this piece. In I am enough the colours purple, pink, green and blue seemed to fit. Once I have chosen the colours then I look at them from a chakra perspective and see if they make sense. So although I have intuitively chosen the colours they usually are exactly what I need in terms of my chakras.
When I think about the I am enough issue it speaks most closely to my heart, of the colours pink and green of the heart chakra. I’ve included purple (crown chakra) as I am working through my emotions by using my intuition and insight. The blue represents speaking my truth and finding my authentic voice. For more information about how I use the chakra colours in my rug hooking, see One Loop at a Time.
Does any of this I am enough resonate with you? Have you discovered any strategies that help you to cultivate this mindset? What is your process for digging deeper into your emotions? I’d love to hear your comments or reactions.
And of course, if you’d like to take a step towards healing through creativity I’d love to design and hook you a healing mat that reflects the next step in your healing journey.